Responsible Joy part 2

When starting out on the journey of creating a life you can feel proud of, here are some basic guidelines:

1) Spend no more than 1-2 hours playing videogames or on social media/Youtube.  These past-times will consume as much of your time as possible, which is to say even if you only want to spend 30 minutes, you will find it will take far more.  This is because they are programmed that way.  So these activities in excess often work against you getting to know yourself better and having your own unique thoughts.

2) Accept the fact that you are an interesting person, worthy of attention and effort.  If you don't believe this easily, treat it like a fascinating fact (did you know some turtles can breath out of their butts?).  Be delighted, mystified, slightly disturbed.  Above all be curious, and nurture the want you have to find out more.  (More about you, not about turtles butt-breathing...unless you are into that sort of thing...look you just found out more about you!)

3) I would like to emphasize that this takes both TIME and EFFORT and it is hard work.  To take this seriously, please create and protect the conditions where your self development can happen (e.g. Good sleep, avoid recreational drugs, toxic relationships etc.).  I would argue that this is what it means to grow up and to take responsibility for yourself.

4) Try to say yes more (to hobbies, not responsibilities).  When your critical voice enters telling you, "you won't like this," or, "you will fail at this", or "what's the point?"  Please respond with, "Thank you for your input, but I respectfully disagree.  What you have to say is not helpful right now." and continue to say yes.

5) Treat new hobbies/activities like a science experiment.  Suspend Judgement. Collect data.  When you start something new, it is not about excelling or failing, but how it makes you feel.  

6) If you don't know where to begin, notice if you are raising the stakes by trying to find "THE ONE thing I am MEANT to do".  Don't think too hard, or take yourself too seriously.  Just try something that tickles your interest.  If you still have no idea, look at the bulletin board of your local community recreation center (mine has a calligraphy club!).  Another place for inspiration is to browse a library or book store, paying attention to what you gravitate too.  

7) Remember it is not what you feel you are SUPPOSED to like or WISHED you liked.  Throw those presumptions in the trash (where they belong!).  You can't help liking what you like, lean into it.  You are discovering the identity that is there, not creating one from scratch.  

8) Say yes to rest!  Make room for good, rejuvenating rest.  If this is difficult that is ok, start with protecting time to consider, how might I rest well?  Guided meditations are a great place to start.