Behind the curtain: What I wish my patients knew

When a patient tells me, "I am not doing any better. I can't take it anymore."

What I would like to say, "I can not fix you right away.

I am saddened by this, I may even be sorry. But I am doing my best and you are still unhappy."

I notice my defensiveness in the session, that I am less patient with you because I feel incompetent. I register feeling irritated, angry and helpless. You would know what this feels like too, I suspect. Knowing this increases my compassion for you.

I am working on managing my own difficult feelings and thoughts, to correct them, make space for them, so that they do not interfere with how I feel about you and the care I provide.

I know you are suffering, and it is very difficult to see someone suffering before me. I worry that if I admit that I am not sure how to help you when I've done my best and what is needed is more time for treatment to work, that this will make you feel worse. It may make you feel despondent and irreparable, which is never what I mean.

So all I can offer at this time is my presence, so you do not feel you are suffering alone. And hope, that even if you are not feeling better, I am working on this with you. I see and experience indirectly your pain."